Archive for January, 2012





What If They’re Right?

The Mayans

Tis the season for making promises that more than likely will be broken within a few days or weeks. Yes, I’m talking about the dreaded “New Year’s Resolutions”. In the strip both Dave and Max had to confront the issue as did I and I’m assuming many of you. But last Saturday there was sense of urgency and added significance when it came time to list my “to do’s” for 2012.

Why?

Because it’s 2012 and according to some, we won’t have to worry about 2013!

Yes, the ol’ Mayan calendar comes to an end on December 21st of THIS year!

My pastor recalled a funny joke about the Mayans and their calendar during his sermon last week.

It went something like this…

One Mayan is chiseling the calendar into a stone tablet and says, “I’ve run out of stone!”
The other Mayan says, “Boy, is that going to freak some people out!’

The congregation laughed.

But sadly, there are probably people out there that actually think that our beloved planet Earth will be hit by some rogue planet or a “killer” solar flare or even be subjected to a catastrophic geomagnetic reversal.

What?

You don’t know what geomagnetic reversal is?

Go watch the movie, “2012” and you’ll get your answer! Oh yeah, one of my cable channels just happened to run that very movie over and over and over on New Year’s Day! Guess we better start heading for the secret arks that are no doubt being built as you read this in of all places, China!

What?

You don’t know about the secret arks?

Better watch that movie!

Okay, so I don’t actually believe that the world is coming to end anytime soon, but it did get me thinking, “What if…”

So I put together my list of things I’d better get done before December 21, 2012.

Here we go…

One thing that tops my list is to get a stupid hole in one! I’m always been the bridesmaid or the witness on this one. I’ve come as close as one inch on a couple occasions and had several trickle up to within a foot, but NEVER had one drop into the cup! Heck, I’ve witnessed two by neighbor, “Sparty Pete” and three by own father! By the way…number three of my fathers was with his first swing of club I had just given him for Father’s Day…true story! I resolve to get one before December 21st!

I resolve to lose twenty pounds.
(Don’t we all?)

And if successful with the weight loss, I resolve to run the Fargo Half Marathon in May and the Des Moines Dam To Dam in June.

Why Fargo? Have you been there? It’s FLAT!

Why the Dam To Dam since technically this is not a new resolution since I’ve ran the thing about five times?

Well, this year there are some changes to the route with a finish that will take runners over a pretty cool bridge that crosses the Des Moines River. I resolve to do both.

Speaking of running…

I resolve to run a full marathon after turning the age of 50.

I turn the half century mark on September 6th…looks like an October marathon will be on the calendar!

I resolve to look down upon the world from 13,444 feet one more time! The view from atop Cloud Peak in the Big Horn Mountains of Wyoming in 2010 was breathtaking and my son’s Boy Scout Troop just happens to be heading there again this August…I want to be there!

Speaking of Boy Scout trips…I was fortunate to be able to sail the Florida Keys with my oldest son a couple of years ago. I resolve to have the same memory with my other son. Anchors away in June!

I resolve to mail my sisters birthday card early this year. (Her birthday is December 22)

I resolve to visit Hawaii when it’s warm there and cold here.

I resolve to no longer have to deal with thousands of dry pine needles from a tree that was in my living room!

I resolve not to ever watch Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin again on New Year’s Eve!

I resolve to watch a Pauly Shore movie from start to finish. (If one is not available, the movie “Cabin Boy” will suffice…also, I plan this for sometime AFTER December 21st!)

And finally,I resolve to draw more cartoons in 2012.

So there you have it!

My “To Do List” for the coming year.

Time will only tell if I’ll get the full year to complete everything!

I look at it this way…

If the Mayans are wrong, then I can shove a few of these things into 2013 and beyond and if they’re right, it should be a heck of a show on December 21st!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!





Rolled!

I had heard all of the stories…

Sprained ankles.

Broken finger.

Messed up knee that required surgery.

Despite these I went ahead and did it anyway.

I signed up for co-ed volleyball at my church!

My team’s first game of the season was last Thursday.

The last words I heard when I was leaving my house for the game…

“Don’t wind up in the emergency room!”

My response…

“Don’t worry, I’m not diving for any balls!”

That was my plan to avoid injury, don’t dive for anything!

No matter if it meant the deciding point in the deciding game!

NO DIVING ALLOWED!!!

You see, I learned that lesson the hard way a couple of years ago while playing a late night game of “Pin Guard” (a game similar to dodgeball) with a group of Boy Scouts at a lock-in. Sometime around two o’clock in the morning, in what was probably the twentieth game played that night, I thought it would be smart to dive and catch a ball so two of my fellow teammates could re-enter the game!

It was a critical of “Pin Guard” after all.

In my mind it was a beautiful dive.

Going to my left.

Laying straight out.

Reaching for the ball with both arms extended, much like any great NFL receiver would do!

Except…

I dropped the ball.

My two teammates were left on the sidelines.

And I landed hard on my left hip.

That incident required a trip to the doctor and I was left hobbling for the next six months!

(Thank goodness it was a carpeted gym floor!)

I might add…I still occasionally have pain in that hip.

So I didn’t need to be told twice about the risks of thinking I’m the second coming of Karch Kiraly (world famous volleyball player).

So no diving.

However, that does leave jumping.

Last time I checked, jumping is also a key part of playing the game of volleyball.

But seriously, how risky can it be for someone my age to simply jump up into the air and land safely on my feet?

VERY RISKY!!!

It was the third game of our match. We had split the first two, so this was for the win. About halfway through the game, I was playing the net when I attempted to block a shot. I jumped high into the air (at least a good three inches) and came down on my right foot or should I say, the SIDE of my right foot!

I saw it completely rolled over.

I heard a CRACK!

I felt the pain.

My first thought was that I had broken my ankle and had just gotten my ticket punched to the emergency room!

Thankfully, the worst of the pain only lasted about a minute and I was able to get back on my feet and finish the game. I thought if I had broken it, then I won’t have been able to do that.

I dodged a bullet!

No trip to the ER!

Except…

During the night the pain got worse and it made sleeping very difficult. I had the chills and felt nauseous. I was thinking, maybe I did break something. The next morning I was unable to get out of bed due to the pain and the fact that I felt as if I was going to pass out! Following a couple of failed attempts, I did something I NEVER do…I went back to bed! Finally, after a few hours of sleep, I was able to get up and not pass out. A hot shower helped my foot feel better and soon I was able to walk, although it was a hobble. Gradually, it loosened up and I was able to walk pretty well.

The following day it felt better and I even thought about going for a run…nah!

I rested it a couple of more days before hitting the treadmill and running a couple of miles.

It doesn’t hurt to walk or run on it, but it is still a little sore when I put side pressure on it.

The good news…

I played another game last night.

The ankle did fine.

And I didn’t make a trip to the ER!

Game On!