Archive for January 27th, 2012



The Fan Man

Okay, let me say this right off the top…

I am VERY grateful that a VERY long search for just the right ceiling fan is OVER!

The search officially ended last Saturday sometime around 3:00 PM CST.

That’s when my wife and I finally found the right fan to replace an aging one that hung in our bedroom. The search had taken us to several stores and required quite a few internet searches, but we could never find the one that was right for us. That was until last Saturday, when we found the light we had been searching for, oh these many months at a little, out of the way lighting store!

The salesman was sharp and easily spotted my desperation.

He knew if he could just steer us to the right light/fan, he would more than likely make the sale!

“Take your time,” he insisted.

“And by the way…if you don’t find one on the ceiling, we have hundreds more to choose from in our catalog!”

A catalog!

That’s all I needed! A dead end store search that would lead to a catalog filled with hundreds of the worst looking ceiling fans ever massed produced overseas and shipped to this country!

I was determined to find one in the store that…

1. Looked halfway decent.

2. Hung from the ceiling.

3. Would circulate air when asked to do so.

4. And provide light from time to time!

And then it happened!

Much like the scene in the movie, “Christmas Vacation” when Clark finds just the right Christmas tree, we found the fan!

But, unfortunately just like in the movie when the son asks about if the dad had brought a saw, I noticed there was no light on this particular fan!

The search would have to continue!

Until…

The salesman indicated that most of the fans could be fitted with a light kit if there wasn’t already a light on the fan.

I’ll take it!

Hook us up with the fan, a light kit, a longer down rod and even throw in a remote control!

Then it happened…

The salesman asked, “Will you be installing this yourself?”

“Yes, of course”, I replied, using the best master electrician sounding voice I could muster!

I don’t think he bought it! Oh sure, he knew I was going to ATTEMPT to install the thing, but it was clear that his level of confidence in me actually getting it done was rather LOW!

To be fair, maybe he could sense that he was looking at a guy who could draw a nice picture of ceiling fan, but when it came time to hanging it and hooking it up to an electrical supply, he should leave it for a pro!

I quickly countered with my track record of successful ceiling fan installations that I had completed in my lifetime!

Okay, it isn’t a long list, but I did install the one we were now on the verge of replacing… that should count for something!

“Alright, but here is a card with a number on it that you can call seven days a week…just in case you run into trouble and need some assistance,” said the salesman. (He probably wanted to cover his you-know-what, in case my widow wife decided to sue his you-know-what for letting a clearly unqualified guy walk out of his store knowing he was in for the shock of life!)

So I took the card and told him how reassuring it was to know that somewhere in India there was a person with the ability to troubleshoot any problem I may have with the installation process!

The purchased was finalized, the car loaded and we headed for home!

It was getting a little late.

Much too late to begin a project that required clear thinking and a steady hand!

Installation would wait until the next day!

Sunday arrived and following church, it was time to get down to business!

I gathered all necessary and a few unnecessary items.

I had my ladder.

I had my screw driver.

I had my wire cutters. (Yes, I own a pair!)

What was I forgetting?

Oh yeah, turn the power off to the bedroom!- Check!

Demolition would come first. Why is it always the most fun part of a project?

Then it was time to walk the walk…time to put up or shut up…time to show I had the right stuff!

Installation time!

Now I could bore you with the hundreds of technical details, but I thought I ‘d let the pictures speech for themselves…

The old one.

The new one, just waiting to be installed!

Demo has begun!

Did I remember to turn off the power?

Lots & lots of parts!

Okay, where did I put that "Help Line" number?

So far, so good!

Blade installation has begun!

Not there yet!

SUCCESS!!!

I am happy to report that the installation process took only FOUR hours to complete (over two days), no one was injured, the “Help Line” was never called, the fan didn’t crash to the floor AND it works!

Upon the successful completion of the project I struck this pose on top of my ladder…

"I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!"